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Don't fall for the trick

Photo of People Engaged on their Phones
Photo credit: Cottonbro Studio on Pexels

We all have a choice in where we want to focus our attention. As soon as we define something as wrong, we are building an experience that meets that definition. If we have an expectation of how something needs to be for us to be happy, as an example, and what we experience is not fitting that expectation, we will create frustration and continue to define our experience as wrong and build on it as an infinite loop. It is as simple as making a choice of what we would prefer, and in stating that preference, we don't judge anything. We don't rail against what we don't prefer but rather accept it exists and move on in search of what we do prefer or want.


Think of it like a buffet at a restaurant. There are many choices on offer and when we fill our plate, we simply choose what we want to eat. We don't focus our energy on the fact there is fried shrimp and we hate seafood, or that the soup we do like isn't on offer. We simply choose and ignore the rest. However, in life, we tend to focus on the negative aspects of the experience and rally against what is missing or on what we don't prefer.


We fall for the trick that negative thinking brings to the table. It says we need to fight against what is wrong and keeps us in a state that prevents us from choosing the positive. We say "but if things were just different I would be happy. If the world was better or my finances were better or my relationship was better, I'd be happy". It doesn't work that way because where our focus goes, experience grows. The world is simply a mirror reflecting our current beliefs.


If we look in the mirror and see a frown, we don't demand it be a smile and then yell at the reflection to change. We step back and say, I prefer a smile so I will choose to smile, and low and behold, the reflection in the mirror changes to a smile. The trick is we believe we have no power to choose what we prefer because we pay more attention to everything outside ourselves rather than what we truly control, which is our own thoughts and beliefs. We allow ourselves to get caught up in the bad things we see going on in the world and judge them as not acceptable and try to do everything in our power to change it. This is the hard path because we are continuing to focus on what we don't prefer, and attracting more of what we don't prefer.


To change it, we must focus on the things we prefer, which is peace, community and compassion. We will move the needle when we not only live that state in our current environment, but also where we want to have a positive impact on those we feel need our help and we choose to look for ways to create peace. Perhaps we spend our money with companies whose values align with our own to prevent inadvertent complicity with companies who profit off of war. There is a reason Mother Theresa refused to attend war rallies but welcomed peace rallies. Both rallies intend for change but the focus needs to be on the desired outcome, which for Mother Theresa was peace. The goal is to gain focus and ignore distraction. That doesn’t mean we deny the existence of those things that go against our values. Rather, we use the power we have, like our vote, or our purchasing power, or our choices for how we use our time and energy - to choose what we prefer. This attracts more of what we prefer because remember, the world is a reflection of our inner experience and so, what we see reflected back to us is simply the result of our choices.

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