The Boundary Archetype Map

Photo Credit: Puneet Singh Rawat on Pexels

The reason I created The Sanctuary Method, is because I found myself frustrated by so many experiences, mostly in my work life. As I began to realize that I didn’t have sufficient or consistent boundaries in my life, I started to learn more about how I could create and communicate those boundaries more effectively. I also realized that it wasn’t part of my personality, or something I couldn’t change. It was simply the only way I knew how to protect myself. But I could learn how to not only change it, but to empower myself to create the experiences I wanted.

The table below gives a brief overview of the different archetypes and what they look like, as well as how you might experience them. If you haven’t already taken the boundary quiz, I encourage you to take 2 minutes to go through the short list of questions in my blog post to get a sense of your current boundary style. Then, read through the table below for more guidance.

Archetype	The "Default" Move	The Internal Goal	The "Sanctuary" Cost
The Peacekeeper	Dissolving. You say "Yes" to keep the room calm.	To avoid the "noise" of other people's disappointment.	Physical Exhaustion. You carry everyone else's weight.
The Chameleon	Blending. You match the energy of whoever you are with.	To stay safe by being invisible or "relatable."	Loss of Self. You forget what you actually think/want.
The Fortress	Walling. You shut down or disconnect entirely.	To prevent any more sensory or emotional input.	Isolation. You are safe, but you are also lonely.
The Boss	Balancing. You make intentional choices..	To maintain your inner peace.	None. You have found a way to rest and keep your energy.

The "Why" Behind Your Result

Most of us aren't just one style 100% of the time. You might be a Peacekeeper at home but a Boss at work. You might be a Fortress on days where you are triggered by someone's behaviour and you just react to what is happening. That's OK. It takes time to practice learning how to communicate your new values.

Your archetype is not your identity; it is your current survival strategy. By naming the strategy, you gain the power to change it.

Reflect for a moment:

• Did your result surprise you, or did it feel like a heavy "Yes, that's it"?

• Which archetype feels the most "foreign" to you? (This is often the style that holds the medicine you need most).

As you start, or continue your journey, just remember that you've been conditioned to for a normal that is "status quo" and compliant. But you are here to bring your unique gifts and perspective to a world that can use diversity and different! The choice is yours!