Why Boundaries are Empowering

Photo Credit: Ravi Kant on Pexels

I’ve been obsessed with a color by number app on my tablet over the last few weeks. It is relaxing and addictive to create something, even though it is not coming from my own consciousness. I marvel at the person that drew the image, and considered how to break it up into parts that use color to highlight and build out shadows and define lines that give the image its structure. There is a mystery category you can play that reveals parts of the picture, using one color hue at a time. What I’ve noticed is that it always starts with coloring the spaces in between the main parts of the image (see image below).

"Happy Color" coloring app mystery image.

The shapes that appear for you to color, have no defining elements and it feels very random until you zoom out at the whole picture and begin to see that these spaces actually help to define the edges of the various elements. The spaces give substance to the things that surround them and make it easy to begin to recognize what the image will be within the first 5 or 10 numbers you color. 

This is how I see boundaries in my life. By focusing on the space you create for yourself in your life, you begin to define what your life will hold and what it will present to the world as people observe you, just as with the paint by number image. The idea of what we want to draw, slowly reveals itself in the spaces we create between the people we know and love, between the places we visit, and between the choices we make. This space is what we carry with us and helps define what the world looks like around us.

We choose the thoughts we hold, the beliefs we cherish, the energy we put out into the world. Our boundaries become the framework for what this space looks and feels like to ourselves and others. So it becomes critical to build this space with intention and with the idea that others see the beautiful image that we intend to create. The image that can be admired by others, act as inspiration, and leave the world a better place.

As I continue to move about my daily life, I find it easier to communicate my boundaries and embody them. I don’t see them as barriers to anything, but rather as a soft cushion against a world that is especially harsh right now. I’m learning that my boundaries have given me space to dwell more in the intelligence of my heart. As a result, I experience more kindness and see more good. These experiences exist within the spaces between all the news stories, controversy and division that continues to attempt to make its way into my awareness. The more I focus on these spaces, the more I feel calm and the more I notice that this sanctuary I’ve built also gives me strength. A strength to show up as who I am, without labels or pressure to fit in - and it feels amazing!