Learning to Embrace Endings

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It is the end of December and as we approach a brand new year, I’ve been spending time reflecting on not only what I accomplished in 2025, but also what I want to leave behind. 2025 had the energy of endings, and for me it was a combination of endings and integrations. For me, the year saw the end of a career in the corporate world, and the beginning of a new life as a healer and coach. I had to learn not only how to let go of a lot of beliefs and habits, but also come to terms with the grief of what these changes felt like for me emotionally.

I spent my career really focused on success, which for me meant making a good salary and finding ways to accomplish what seemed important to me. Over the last few years, I really began to question why I was so taken in by the idea of performance and promotion, yet so drained by the prospect of doing things for the sake of checking a box versus adding what I considered real value. I struggled a lot with the feeling that I wasn’t doing things that made an impact on the quality of life for people, but rather just doing things to finish a project and put a stamp on a “job well done”. I existed within a world of chaos that seemed designed as a smoke screen for weaponized confusion. That state of intentional chaos meant to distract from the really important things like the lack of accountability in leadership, the lack of trust in teams, and the lack of understanding for the purpose of the work. I realized that this wasn’t the environment I could thrive in and survival was no longer a state I wanted to tolerate.

Fast forward 8 months and I am finally at a point where I can look back with not only relief, but pride. I was able to walk away from something that I thought was my success, and walk into a new concept of my purpose. At first, I spent time building out my website and creating content which made me feel productive. Then as I allowed myself more time and space to relax, I discovered that it was going to take some time for me to let go of the guilt associated with not doing anything, and reframe it as a time of integration. When you plant a seed, you can’t spend your time digging it up to look for the progress so you can feel productive. You have to give it time to germinate and grow and trust that what needs to happen will happen. When you have spent a career in the corporate world where time is money, that time spent trusting seems like a waste. I had to learn that it isn’t really down time, as much as it is time to tend to the other things that often get overlooked and neglected. I had to learn that integrating this ending was just as important for my progress as anything.

Integrating for me, meant I had to take the time to really become conscious about how I felt about the experience. What beliefs no longer served me? How could I resolve the feelings of guilt attached to giving myself space to understand not only how to let go of old beliefs, but also how to begin building up new beliefs and deciding what my new path would look like? I needed time to accept that things were changing and that it was ok that I wanted something different. Going against the status quo isn’t easy and people can really have a hard time understanding it.

However, I also discovered a newfound freedom in it all. I felt that I finally could dedicate the time and space to create in new ways. I spent time writing every day and publishing a blog where I actually got to use my voice in a way I wanted. I got to decide how I wanted to move forward and do it on my terms. I got to choose for myself what success looked like and didn’t need to worry about disappointing anyone for missing a deadline or making mistakes. In fact, I was really proud of my commitment to posting an article every week and honoring that commitment even when it was hard to be creative. I look back on the last 8 months as a turning point for me. I struggled to explain what I was doing because I was still creating what I wanted. Then a good friend just said, “tell people you are exploring a new season of your life”, which was a brilliant way to explain the ebb and flow of what I was experiencing. There was no job title, and no goal to speak of, I was just being curious and open to what life had to offer.

Now, as I sit looking at the close of December, I’m starting to think about the new year and the intentions I have for January and the rest of 2026. I sat down on December 21, the mark of the winter solstice as the longest period of darkness in a day, and wrote down 13 intentions. The ritual involves selecting a piece of paper at random each day, and burning it or ripping it up without looking at what I wrote. This is symbolic of trusting that the universe will take care of supporting that specific intention on my behalf. After all, life is a co-creation with the universe and what better way to practice trust than to plant the seeds of intention and let them germinate! When I reach January 1, I will have given up 12 intentions for the universe to handle for me and 1 that I will read and take with me into 2026. That 1 final intention will act as my focus and guide for the rest of the year. I’m excited to venture forward and discover what other intentions I’m inspired towards that may be new as well. I am also actively embracing what I will be leaving behind. I will only bring forward those lessons that serve me, and gratitude for the experiences that shaped me. Everything else is simply fertilizer to help me grow into my new season.