Your Exhaustion and Burnout Isn't Because You Work Too Many Hours

Photo Credit: Vitaly Gariev on Pexels

Burnout and exhaustion aren't normal, and if you are feeling it, it isn't because you are working too many hours. It's a sign that you need a different architecture for your life!

Life demands so much of us, and as a highly sensitive person (HSP), I've been discovering that my sensitivity is not only a huge strength, but it is a key trait that allows me to see what others don't see. I've recently been diving into neurodiversity because I'm discovering that so much of what I thought were my flaws, are actually because my brain was designed differently. The more I learn about myself, I realize that how I experience and understand the world is very complex. However, the more aware I become of the science around neurodiversity and cognition, that complexity is never overshadowed by the one thing I know to be true for myself. No matter what, I am in control of what I choose to believe, think and do in my own life. I am, and always have been sovereign in my own life.

I've learned that the world is designed to make us think that someone else holds all the power and that we have no agency. Companies tell us what we need to do to get a promotion or offer us what they think is value for the work we do. We operate in conditions where we are not treated fairly or where we might not fit in because we just come with a unique perspective or approach that is contrary to what others think is "normal". It feels like we are at the mercy of someone else to give us a job or promotion. But what if that wasn't true? What if we have more power than we think?

I have talked to so many people that struggle at work because like me, they are highly sensitive and neuro-diverse. We don't speak up when we have nothing to say because performing for the benefit of others doesn't provide value to the task at hand. And we often have nothing to say because we are observing, listening, analyzing and forming a picture of the information being shared so we can form an opinion based on data or evidence that comes to light during the conversation. We aren't naturally competitive, but rather collaborative because we use social cognition to understand how people are affected by an idea, design or approach. We use structural cognition to turn things around in our minds looking for the patterns so we understand better where things may break down or cause problems. We use conceptual cognition to break things apart and put them back together time and again looking for the best sequence or idea to see how it fits into the context of the big picture because we see how everything is connected. We use analytical cognition to ask for concrete data because we want to test our theories and run the process through to assess risk and determine if things might break.

Oftentimes the conflict and discomfort created by the way we see the world is punished and criticized, without ever seeing the true value that it brings to the table. We are misunderstood or seen as rude, challenging or just plain inept because we aren't following the unwritten social rules for navigating the politics of ego. We end up learning to go along to get along and we turn into people-pleasers for the sake of our career. We lose confidence every time we get "feedback" about our supposed flaws. What we are really hearing is "why can't you just be the same as everyone else?". So we attempt to adapt by giving more than we should, by masking our authenticity to fit in, and by learning to be hyper vigilant around everyone else's needs just to ensure we don't offend. This takes so much energy and effort to the point of exhaustion. And so often, it really doesn't make any difference for us because no matter what, we just can't maintain this state. And through all of this, I learned one simple truth:

No one cares more about you, or has your best interest at heart more than you!

I created "The Sanctuary Method" as a 12 week journey to self-empowerment because everyone deserves the right to be authentic, sovereign and the creator of their own experience. The effort we have spent on everyone else, should be invested in ourselves. It starts with awareness and an understanding that each of us have the power to choose. We choose how we spend our time and energy. We choose where we place our loyalty and share our gifts. There is a way we can learn to understand ourselves and accept our unique traits, and communicate our values to others such that we control the outcome of our experience.

We may not be able to control how others treat us, but we can control what we demand for ourselves, and learn to build a Sanctuary that protects us from the chaos and judgement of a world not built for our uniqueness. We can change our experience through the power of choice, and we can lead with a confidence built on self-awareness, understanding and compassion. We can find our peace, and navigate the world from a place of strength and agency.

If you want to learn more, check out The Sanctuary Method and the 12-week journey pages. These are free resources to get you started on your journey. If you are looking for more support, check out my Patreon page and join the Inner Sanctuary. You can access my Digital Guide and audio companions with a monthly membership.